Facing death is a sad thought for anyone, and being new to this I learned a lot from the whole trying experience. My aunt was diagnosed with lung cancer about 5 months ago . I know death is a part of life that all of us must accept at one point in time, but it's hard when it comes at you so abruptly. Needless to say, it's been an emotional rollercoaster in recent days, but stepping back and spending some time in prayer and reflection allowed me to realize some new things as well as remind me of some truths that I already know. I wrote this mostly for myself to remember and to collect my thoughts while everything is still fresh, but I guess it's good for anyone to reflect on certain things from time to time.

First, I need to love more. As simple as it sounds, I find it so hard sometimes to show that I appreciate and love others around me. Jesus told us to "Love God with all your heart, mind, and soul...and to love your neighbor as yourself." I think the fact that Jesus explicitly insisted that these are the two greatest commandments says something about how we are created and how we function as humans, and that is through the expression of love to our Creator and to His creation. Loving God and loving others means worshiping Him, and if I want to bring true worship to God, I want to love Him more and love others more.

Another thing that came across my mind is how small we are and truly how great our God is. I worship a God that created every fiber in my body, a God that created my brother, my mom, my dad, my aunt...the entire universe..Hold up, the entire universe..Yet he picked ME out and called ME his child? He gives and takes away life with one single breath. He commands the living and the dead, even Satan bows down before Him. He allows me to wake up tomorrow and start on a clean slate although I turn my back to him over and over again. He gives me the chance to worship Him, the opportunity to love Him, the ability to serve Him. I don't worship a dead idol, I dont worship a dead religion. I worship a living God that is intimately involved with my life and the life of everyone he created in his image. are you ferreal...

Death has a way of forcing you to look at the priorities in your life, and I was reminded yet again to refocus my attention. So many times I run after the "lesser glories," as Pastor Ray put it, of the world and throw away the one true GLORY which can only be found in God. My dream house, my dream job, my life goals...all of this pales in comparison to the prize that I can claim if I simply fix my gaze upon God and let him lead me. But, more and more I am realizing that to be a Christian in this world is not a walk in the park, it absolutely cannnott be a comfort zone. Rather, it is a constant struggle, a bitter fight against every natural inclination of your flesh, a daily process of commitment and recommitment to live a life of worship. This is what I confessed my faith to as a 11 year old kid and what I am wholly committed to in order to bring change in my heart and be a world-changer for this generation. Kingdom living, eternal perspective, heavenly vision...dreaming BIG. That's whats gotta be real. It gets harder and harder everyday and growing up ain't easy, but maturity is a big part of my faith that I need to keep up with.

Lastly, I love my family soo much, and I thank God for the closeness in my family, both immediate and extended. It's in hard times like this where true character shows itself and when you need family the most, and I think the love in our family was more evident through all of this than at any other time I have witnessed. Going through my aunt's death and then another family crisis on top of that was emotionally and mentally draining, but somehow I think God's plan prevailed over what we may have desired or decided on our own. I am simply in awe everyday at how my mom fights to live a Christ-centered life and how she manages to do this in every possible situation, including during this time. Mom, your strength and courage to daily fight the mold, your persistence to love others without ever expecting anything in return, your life mission to worship God with a servant's heart is simply amazing. You have truly shown me what being a Christian leader and disciple of Christ means, and you inspire so many people around you to do the same.

To my dearest, most lovable emo...I love you and miss you sooo much. But we'll be together soon so hold tight...Thank you for everything you have taught me both by example and by instruction. You have been the embodiment of what it means to show Christ's love to every single person you met along the way and extended a hand to. Even until your last breath, you simply loved with everything you had. Everyone and everything is in good hands now. Love you.

-Dedicated to the best aunt in the world

Havent updated in awhile again...hahaha

wow! so freshman year flies by just like that..my first year brought a hugee eclectic mixture of EVERYTHING...mostly good Thank you God, but not perfect of course

No need or possibility to think of and recount every single thing that happened but a n especially BIIGG collective thanks to all those wonderful people that have barraged into my life..hahaha i could not thank you guys enough in words ...

You know it amazes me how stuffed we Christians are sometimes, filled to the brim with our greed, obsessed with our own self-gratifications, infatuated with our own problems, and blind to the eternally dying people in this world..haha i'm not trying to be discouraging to anyone, but it is the truth about ourselves myself included and the natural tendency as any human being to be lazy and complacent..

Do we recognize the urgency? the fact that millions are starving from spiritual malnourishment and are bound to an eternal consequence or are we fat from our own feasts and gluttonous atttitudes on life??..you know I was blessed this year through a simple GIGS group with four guys and their open..ness to discover who Jesus is, and what we Christians believe in..BUT what was shocking were their misconceptions and complacent attitudes towards their current state in life..they simply didn't ask the questions that i asked..about eternity, about their purpose, and their dreams..it just never dawned on them until someone else brought it to their attention

Complacency is rampant both amongst Christians, non-Christians, anyone out there..it is our duty as Christians to be extraordinary, not ordinary..to be the "salt and light of the earth." requires our uncomfort, to think beyond myself for one moment, and sometimes to go forth with what is unnatural for me

Let's not sleep on the sofa anymore guys..let's wake up and flee the mansions we have constructed for ourselves and mobilize an army with Christ as the flagbearer..run in the streets to shout the fame of Jesus who has redeemed me and has given me a chance to tell the lost people of this world about the saving grace of God..

God use me, humble me..give me dreams that are as big as yours, motives that are as true as yours, boldness that is as solid as yours, and a willilngness that is as unwavering as yours..living everyday in light of eternity..change my values change my dreams, conform my will to yours God..i desire no more temporal worldly living, only kingdom living..that is the prayer of your church and of this disciple

freak i want to be used...by God not by you (dont misinterpret that and use that against me..hahah).. and there is what is on my mind!

have a good day!

oh..by the way this is the state of the LA franchises...

   O'Neal, who demanded a trade shortly after the Los Angeles Lakers lost in the NBA Finals to the Detroit Pistons, has put his house near Beverly Hills on the market for $7.5 million. - ESPN

Major League Baseball West NL Race:

San Francisco Giants (43W 33L) 1st place NL WEST

Los Angeles Dodgers (38W 35L) 3rd place NL WEST

hahahah i let the games speak for themselves...LA BRING IT!!

It's been awhile since I've updated this thing, but if you guys have a little time to spare, take some out of your precious days to read this.

So my dad was called to serve in Iraq a little more than a year ago. He has been going to church for more than 15 years now, during which our family has been praying for him ceaselessly. He wasn't Christian, in fact he had adamantly doubted his faith, and refused to believe in a heaven or a hell, most simply because he did not have an understanding knowledge of God and a personal relationship that he could relate with. No matter how much we prayed for him and tried to reach out to him by talking to him, arguing with him, praying for him, inviting him to conferences, it all seemed in vain. Think about it, 15 years of going to church and still not being able to know what you are believing in!

Before he left, each of us wrote him a letter wishing him a safe stay in Iraq and to keep seeking God and to find his purpose for being in Iraq as well as a reminder that our family back home, our church, and countless others were praying for him. I don't recall exactly what I wrote in my letter to him, but I remember finding a poem that I found that was something in the form of a salvation prayer, and I included it along with my letter to him.

Long story short, my mother called me today to let me know that during my dad's stay in Iraq, he had kept that prayer dear to him and had prayed it constantly, day after day, keeping it closeby in his wallet in case he needed consolation or encouragement because he didn't know how to pray otherwise to God. He prayed the prayer so much in fact that the paper that it was on is all crumpled and filled with holes. He said that as he was a first hand witness to other people dying and suffering around him and all the other insanities that came with war, he kept praying that prayer in times of desperation to be encouraged and consoled. Also, my mom had bought him My Utmost For His Highest before he left to accomodate the Bible, and he had also read that and studied it so much that in fact that book was all worn out too. Even this blew me away, as this honestly would've been unheard of from him a year ago. Simply amazing..

It gets better though. The pastor at our church asked him to give a testimony about his experience in Iraq during the past year this coming Wednesday for the entire service. My dad, who denied Jesus straight up while hearing his message a year ago, giving a testimony about his faith? Crazy..

My mom and my dad spent the day at prayer mountain praying for change in my dad's life as he begins his infant journey towards leading a Christ-centered life. He confessed with his own mouth that all that's left for him now for the rest of his life is to live for God and to serve Him completely. He wants to devote the rest of his life for God's work through him, even though he doesn't know what that will entail, or where even to begin. He's finally beginning to understand the purpose of his service in Iraq, and more importantly, the eternal promise of God's love through Jesus' sacrifice that he's been hearing about for 15 years. He's finally realizing his purpose in his life now.

I'm still overwhelmed by what God has done. It took 15 years, and hundreds, maybe thousands of prayers, just for one individual, but the reason I'm telling you guys this is not only to share my blessing, but to spur you fellow believers to be steadfast in your devotion to God, to always be focused not on present unfavorable circumstances, but to be joyful, looking forward and pressing on entrusting everything in the promise that God has plans to prosper you, and finally to remind you of the boundless wonders that God displays through our prayers of faith. And for the people that don't know God or doubt like my dad did a year ago, just keep seeking and asking questions and searching and you will eventually find what you're looking for. "For everyong who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened."

God is real, He is powerful, He is present, He is working, He is changing lives, He is looking for those devoted followers who will seek him and serve Him to make change in thisworld. Answer His call, be bold, live everyday for God, and at the very least, pray pray pray endlessly for everything and everyone that you are burdened or not burdened with. Hope that blessed you guys if you read it through!!

Free   By: Hillsong

would you believe me if i said...
that we are the ones who can make the change
in the world today...
would you believe me if i said...
that all of your dreams in your heart
can come true... today...
would you believe me if i said...
that life could be all that you want it to be... today...

chorus
and if i had wings i would fly
'cause all that i need, you are
and if the world caved in around me
to you i'd still hold on
cause you're all that i believe
and the one that created me
JESUS.. because of you.. i'm free

would you believe me if i said...
that god can make miracles happen today
would you believe me if i said...
that you dont need to wait for the answers before..
you step out in faith..
would you believe me if i said
that nothing is ever IMPOSSIBLE.. for god..

just live your life.. with god inside
you wont regret one moment of it
and give all that you can for god... for god"

HELLO WORLD. this is byron's friend...i'll be filling in for today because byron seems to be pre-occupied at the moment. enjoy.

where to start.

let me tell you about my friend byron seho ahn.

he's a studly young man..with buns of steel...with a glowing smile and twinkling eyes..*ahem.

my dear friends...please disregard the previous sentence. ( stern look )

instead..embrace yourselves loved ones, this savage soon lets loose. with his raging eyes and fierce snarl, this 155 pound beast, straight from korea.. will chomp your dinky head off if you don't be careful. with his bustling muscles *ahem* he'll rip your eyelashes out one by one and implant them into his cheeks. ( he's a rare and priceless animal because of these exotic hairs bubbling out of his cheeks) in fact. he's on the loose. however..this poor old beast was mistaken as a helpless ddong-gang-ah-jee (translation: crappy dog ) ATTN:  dont let his innocent puppy image fool you. frends, i urge you..BEWARE. he's a dangerous one.

thank you for reading this abosolutely pointless entry : )

it makes no sense. because in reality...byron ahn is a puny little nerd who cant fend on his own. BUT...he's actually a great guy if you get to know him.

so dear friends. get to know him...you'll grow to love him. the end. SMILE.

the world is a happier place because of this guy.

sincerely, byron's friend, sasha.